Never Abandoned

“About three o’clock Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Matthew 27:46)

How could Jesus cry this out as if He had truly experienced a moment of abandonment? Couldn’t such an act be construed as doubt, which is a sin? Didn’t Jesus say that He and Our Father are one, and that they will never leave or forsake us? I did understand that Jesus was quoting a verse from Psalm 22, but I never fully grasped the full weight of what was occurring.

Then one Good Friday, while out of town for the weekend, my wife and I attended a spectacular Episcopal Church built in 1746. It had probably thirty of the most inspiring stained glass windows I have ever seen. The Rector preached on The Passion (Matthew 26:14 – 27:66). And his thoughts and insights regarding Jesus’ last moments on the cross were truly a godsend.

The Rector emphasized, “…Jesus is speaking these words in Hebrew – not Aramaic, the everyday language – but Hebrew, the synagogue language, the scripture language, the language of hymns and prayers. And I’m probably stretching it here, but I think that when Matthew says Jesus cried out ‘with a loud voice,’ it’s even possible that Jesus was chanting this Psalm – that Jesus was singing this hymn – that even with his lungs collapsing under the weight of his own body hanging on the cross, Jesus still found the breath to sing a hymn to God.”

Suddenly, my lifelong question was answered. As the Rector readily admitted, Jesus’ singing might have been a stretch, but Jesus meditating on the Word of God makes perfect sense! My vision of Jesus in utter despair and perhaps even momentarily losing His oneness with His Father was replaced with a picture of my Savior being obedient to and fully in love with Our Father right up to His last dying breath. Jesus was being who He was and remains – the Living Word of God even as He was laying down His life for us.

As I walked back to my room, I found all this new input joyously swirling around in my head. I embraced it – leaving my old vision behind, as completely out of character for the Jesus that I know through scripture. And in that moment the following verse rose to seal the whole affair in my mind and heart forever:

“When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be, and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” (John: 8:27-29)

What had come to mind was the last sentence, “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” A vision of Jesus in doubt would not be pleasing to God, but Jesus meditating on a psalm that begins in despair but ends with such words as, “They will come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet unborn that he is the one who did it.” (Psalm 22). My vision of my Savior dying on the cross is forever changed when I hear,

“My God. My God. Why have you forsaken me!”